Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
