girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
