Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
