fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we're making bets on your personal life
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
