You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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