i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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