No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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