he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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