fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
