a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
