I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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