Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
