I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
