I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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