dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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