so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
