Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
