I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
