There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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