his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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