Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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