I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
