the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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