I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
