Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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