If i come over, it means nothing
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
