i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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