How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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