The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
whose ass print is on the piano?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
