You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
