U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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