Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
