White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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