Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
