I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
