why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
