My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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