ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
