That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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