i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
