i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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