Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Randomize
