is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
they're like a gay fantastic four
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
