Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
