Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
