Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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