i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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