You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
