I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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