Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
