My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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