I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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