I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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