I think I won the penis lottery.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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