I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
