it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
