Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
