I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
They are going to name an STD after you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
