Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
