Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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