There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
